Punday, Punday, Punday!

Canto III

The many beasts to be found in the country

Scare our Princess not at all.

Not the Vipers in the grass,

Nor the Cobras on the hills.

She raises her chin in challenge to

The Prowlers hidden amongst the trees.

The Firebirds cruising along the paths

And the Raptors hulking near,

Simply make her long to laugh.

Yet she cannot deny the urge to run

Along with the freedom of the Mustang.

As the Wranglers and Scouts endeavor

To capture these noble beasts,

The Princess lets out a wild cheer

To see the beast best the man.

The highwaymen and Renegades

Bring her no faltering pause

Even as they bring their Magnum

Calibers to the bear, and Darts

With Intrepid Focus before

Staring her Challengers down.

Even the creatures of a most

Fantastical nature cannot Vanquish her

As the Gremlins and Demons do stalk,

Seeking to ravish this mighty Princess.

No Matador can enrage her,

Nor bring the Tempest down on her.

A Judge would seek her council

On even a matter so dread

As to quake the joints of a Commodore.

The Princess of Austin takes such pride

In her patience and forbearance in all matters just

That all in the land believe that

Nothing could bring this Princess to anger

Nor tears, nor melancholy, not even to sighs.

Yet, as she cruised through the glorious day

Enjoying the freedom and weather,

Who should come rocketing past her

But a dastardly dark Diablo.

His black skin gleamed darkly,

His sleek and smooth lines flowing,

As he gripped the ground so securely.

The challenge presented by this evil

The Princess did deliberate,

But ere she made a decision,

The spirits within her thus spake.

“See that Lambo before us?”

The deep spirit of the left declared,

“I’m telling you now, I’m having it.”

The spirit that resided on her right

Both fairer and more kind

Shook her head in disgust as it said,

“Your mind you have forever lost,

If you feel that in this pursuit,

A Princess cannot overtake

A Diablo and this is truth!”

The spirits did not argue for

The Princess had desires of her own,

This Diablo in its quiet conceit

Would respect her in all her glory.

She moved to the center of the roadway,

Hard on the heels of that Diablo,

Determined though her very soul

To see this grand endeavor though.

Minutes did pass, closer and closer

The Princess forever inched.

With another shift of position

She drew ever yet nearer.

The beasts and heroes she had left behind

In their slow and stately march,

All turned their heads to watch

This drama unfolding for their part.

Faster and faster our Princess doth go

As her entire being begins to shudder,

Teeth begin to chatter, and joints to creak,

As the mighty Princess does creep,

Alongside the fearsome Diablo.

The genteel spirit within her does cry,

“I-I-I-I-I-I t-t-t-t-t-told-d-d-d-d y-y-y-y-you!”

As the vibrations from the Princess

Do wreak due havoc within and without.

“Hush-sh-sh-sh-sh w-w-w-w-wom-m-m-m-man-n-n-n-n!”

The deeper spirit responds in faith.

At length our Valliant Princess makes

True her dream of dominance

And slips delicately into the space

Immediately before the Diablo’s nose.

With a snort and a blink, the Diablo does

Acknowledge the Princess fair

Before scooting aside to clear the way

For him to drop the hammer down.

As he pulls alongside her spirits within

Make note as the Diablo’s demons ten

Do wave the Princess away with

This sad note upon the wind,

“I command thee get back,

To the loser lane that you rule!”
And with these stinging words

Our Princess is left with the shame

Of watching the glinting black Diablo

Pull ahead and gone with the wind⁵.

So carefully home she does head,

Her pride brought so low that

Our Princess hides now in shame.

Punday

Here is the next installment of Punday! I challenge everyone to outdo me!

Canto II

in all her glory she coasts

Into the Sovereign's overfull court.

The courtly games of positioning

Distract her not at all,

As to the Jaguar Sovereign's feet

She bows her body in supplication.

"A simple quest," she begs of him,

"A drive through the countryside

To see who bids me well."

Her Sovereign watches her closely,

But finds her motives true.

"Yugo," says the noble Sovereign,

"And with my blessings travel,

My fondest thoughts go with you."

The Cavaliers with their Chargers proud

Clamor to Escort this Fair Lady.

"Veritas, I tell you all," says she,

"No Fair Lady am I, but Princess forevermore."

A Commander waves the Lancers aside,

While a Patriot gives a Regal bow.

Our Princess bids her Sovereign farewell,

And turns to give homage to his

Lovely Queen, the Crown Victoria.

With a final flash of her crimson tail lights,

Proceeds with all haste away from the lot.

Lost at sea?

Are your characters refusing to talk to you? Maybe you did something that they didn't like. As a method for trying to get past this hurdle, have a conversation with your character. Open a fresh window, or a new page in your notebook and have an interview. Maybe set it in a coffee shop. Or take them out to this pier and threaten to throw them in the drink if they don't tell you what's bothering them...

Then again... That might scare them so badly that they are struck mute.

The point is, if you've developed a character for your story properly, they begin to take on a life of their own. So maybe your character is heartbroken and you didn't realize it. Maybe their mad at you for killing someone they care about. Take the time to sit down and have this conversation. Maybe you can pretend to be their therapist, or their priest, or their lover, or an annoying newspaper journalist.

Just what can you expect to get out of this interview? If nothing else, a significantly greater understanding of the psychology of your characters. You tell me. Was it an entertaining meeting? A hostile one? I want to know.

Punday

The first installment of Punday Mondays! This is an original piece of work, and I will post it in chunks each week as part of the Punday fun! Let me know what you think. (I know there's some real groaners in there)

The Pride of the Princess

Canto I

I do beseech you, Gods of Automotives,

Guide my hand true in this retelling

Of the mighty Princess of Austin

And the contest of wills betwixt

Our glorious Princess and the flashy Diablo.

The elements hath graced her each,

Earth and Fire and Water and Air,

To add to her exquisite form and function.

Earth yields up the ore for the alloys

That form her body around.

Fire feeds her function giving

Light to the fuel in her body.

Water rinses clean her face

And tempers the fires within.

Air stands her up, surrounds her,

And keeps her breaths alive.

The spirits of these elements

Do, together working, keep

This lovely Princess in state.

Her dainty feet, black and round,

Perches her so gently upon the ground.

So straight and smooth is her bonnet,

Nary a wrinkle can be seen,

That men forever seek to caress her,

While women cannot understand the need.

The Princess hath an ample boot,

But without a large rear end to distract

The minds of others passing her by.

How shining is her silver skin,

All atwinkle in the gentle rays

Of the so very jealous sun.

Her headlights, so round and firm

Do forever turn the eyes of all,

As the brightness of her soul

Shine, blinding to all, from them.

This week's creativity boost!

Here's a fun picture I found that makes a great creativity prompt. I have absolutely no idea where this is, and all I can tell from the photo is that it's a really awesome sculpture. It honestly reminds me of something that I would do, just to make people stop and scratch their heads. What can I say? I love to make people think. The more people question why, the less set in their ways they become.

It's for this same reason that I make random faces at people. Just to make people smile. As someone who does a lot of people watching, I love to find some strange new reaction that I can then incorporate into my writing. You never know, maybe that random odd reaction is something I've never seen before and as such it makes it perfect for some of my more odd characters in stories. So, tell me...

Just what do you see?

What's so Punny?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a pun as: the usually humorous use of a word in such a way as to suggest two or more of its meanings or the meaning of another word similar in sound. What the hell does that mean?

As a means of paying homage to some of my favorite authors who use words as toys, Spider Robinson and Piers Anthony, I am hereby going to instigate Punday! On Mondays from here on out, I will be turning the English language into my personal toy. I challenge you all to join me in formulating some real groaners!

And remember!

The value of a pun is in the 'oy' of the beholder.

NaNoWriMo

It's almost that time again... The National Novel Writing Month draws neigh!!! For those of you who have no idea what NaNoWriMo falls in the month of November, and the goal is to write at least 50,000 words towards your novel manuscript in the 30 days that occur in that month. While mainstream novels can be only 50,000 words long, if you write genre fiction like I do, that may only be half of your manuscript. That's why it's important to make certain you check what the industry standards are for your genre of choice. If you write too much, you chance no one taking it on because it's too long. The same goes for if your novel is too short for industry standards.

While keeping that in mind, I encourage everyone to participate in NaNoWriMo, because even if you don't fully finish your manuscript, you're then 50,000 words closer to your completed story! Yay! Some of the things that are available to participants are pep talks by published authors, a store where you can get some interesting writing related swag, and gadgets for tracking your word counts. There is also a section for finding other NaNoWriMo participants near you, for peer pressure or support or whatever it is that you need.

With writing being such a solitary endeavor it's nice to have something like this to encourage the inner writer. People can commiserate with you, scold you, encourage you, push you, whatever you need! Check it out, I'm going to!